Category Archives: Events

Tip of the Week: Red Flags within a Relationship

Do you know the expression “love is blinding”? This is a true statement. Even when your gut is telling you that something is wrong, you often ignore it. However, your gut is never wrong. Here are some red flags to look out for when in a relationship:
• Blames others for own faults
• Drug/ Alcohol use/abuse
• Explosive temper
• Extreme jealousy or insecurity
• Fascination with weapons
• Strong gender stereotypes
• Difficulty with authority
• Cannot express emotions verbally
• Treats partner like property/possession
• Isolates you from friends and family
• Blows up about little things
• Thinks it’s okay to resolve conflict with violence
• Checking emails, cellphones and social media without permission
• Constantly insulting or putting down partner and/or humiliating partner in public or in front of loved ones

If you or someone you know sees the warning signs in their relationship, then remember you are not alone and that you have the option to seek help. You can always reach out by contacting NOVA Sexual Assault Services (SAS) directly at nova.sas@nvcc.edu or 703-338-0834.
https://www.nvcc.edu/novacares/sas/dating.html
If you would like to learn more about this topic, join us for our Red Flag Campaign on Monday, March 2nd from 11am to 2pm in the LC Café on the Loudoun Campus. Hope to see you there! https://www.facebook.com/events/166424331470492/

Tip of the Week: Self-Love

 

With Valentine’s Day coming up, there is a lot of talk about love. However, the most important love is self-love!

Here are some tips to feel good about yourself:
• Surround yourself with people who bring you up
• Take time for self-love
• Avoid spreading negativity
• Don’t compare yourself with others
• Spread kindness and optimism
• Appreciate what you have
• Be thoughtful of others
• Compliment a stranger
• Get more sleep
• Be open-minded
• Believe in yourself
• Don’t dwell on the past
In celebration of Valentine’s Day NOVA SEXUAL ASSAULT SERVICES (known as “SAS”) will be visiting the NOVA Annandale, Loudoun, MEC, and Woodbridge campuses to share information on Healthy Relationships. Stop by our table where you can gather information on HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS and create your own handmade Valentine’s Day Cards for family, friends or that special someone in your life for free! Hope to see you there and bring your friends!
Annandale- Monday, February 10th from 11-2 – CA 3rd Floor
Loudoun – Tuesday, February 11th from 11:30-1 – LC Cafe
Medical Education – Wednesday, February 12th from 11-2 – 1st Floor
Woodbridge – Thursday, February 13th from 11-1- WS Lobby

If you are interested in uplifting songs that inspired this post:
Surfaces- Sunday Best
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt3m04Tscc8
Lizzo- Good as Hell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuq-VAiW9kw

For more tips about staying in a positive mindset, visit http://www.ulifeline.org/stay_well
Visit the NOVACares Resources page for more info: https://www.nvcc.edu/novacares/resources.html

Alexandria Campus: National Vision Wall Responses

National Vision Wall October 2019 – Alexandria Campus responses:
Imagine a world without sexual violence, what’s different?
(This was the question that was asked and these are the responses received)

10.22.2019 Alexandria Campus
• Feeling good in your own body
• No suffering
• A perfect world
• Less fear more love
• There would be no fear
• No PTSD from emotional baggage
• Women could walk alone and feel safe
• No worries! Relief
• Less pain
• People would have better understanding and would be more accepted
• Better mental health
• Stop the abuse
• No means no! Speak up and talk to someone when in trouble! Do not hold them inside! Smile always and be happy
• Less depression, less suicide, more happiness, more joy
• Peace, joy happiness, understanding
• Safer and happier
• More time to solve other problems
• Less suicide
• I would feel safe and not have to be careful with what I wear
• More stable human beings and less mental problems and mental illness
• Less pain
• The world would be different, it would be better and possibly less violence in general
• No judgment on what you wear, especially women
• Fear would be gone for interaction with unknown people
• Less depression
• A better society with people having no thoughts of hurting anyone
• The difference is that humans will get more humanity and freedom
• Freedom
• Ease at mind + tranquility + love + community
• Less pain and depression
• Being able to walk past a group of men without fearing for my life
• It’s going to be a perfect world
• Sexual violence should not have a place in 2020
• Heaven for all women
• Long lasting relationships
• Suicides will decrease
• Overall better mental health for everyone
• The end of domestic violence will be a start of a new and better change
• Better relationships
• More happier people and families
• Less fear
• Healthier relationships
• Happier families
• Pretty chill
• Better life
• I could sleep better
• Lot less therapy
• Possible gender equality
• People would rest peacefully
• A better world
• More positivity and less perverted behavior
• A great place for all genders, a world without worries
• None of the genders would feel unsafe with another person
• I would feel more comfortable sexually as a woman
• Less anxiety
• A generation that will stop the violence forever
• More love

National Vision Wall: September 2019

Imagine a world without sexual violence, what’s different?

(This was the question that was asked and these are the responses received.  Numbers behind the statement indicate how many times this particular statement was made.)

 

09.24.2019 Annandale Campus

  • I wouldn’t have had to grow up too fast. I could have enjoyed my childhood.
  • Free to get out at night x3
  • It’s a common misconception but men should feel the need to speak up when they are sexually abused!
  • Men wouldn’t be reliant on toxic behavior and would be more mindful and emotionally intelligent.
  • Everyone will be free x 4
  • Stay strong! You’re wonderful no matter what
  • Less murders
  • Less stress, feeling safe and more confidence x6
  • I would sleep better
  • Ability to love wholeheartedly
  • Respect to others would rise and fear between genders would diminish. A peaceful world.
  • There would be more freedom between all genders in all places like the subway!
  • One less hard conversation to have
  • Happy life and women would love themselves more. Avoiding pregnancy that they don’t wish.
  • Humanity would thrive and be unified
  • I wouldn’t need to double check my locks
  • Peaceful, safe and sound
  • I wouldn’t need to worry about wearing short skirts
  • Sweet dreams, good life
  • People are more friendlier and confident
  • A safer world for women, children and men
  • The world would be at peace
  • I would be able to walk outside comfortably
  • The world would be such a better place without worries for little girls and boys over what to wear and people destroying their lives
  • Happy x5
  • So much better x 5
  • No fear and no trauma
  • Less fear x5
  • We would be more confident in our bodies x3
  • It’s childish! We need to make better decisions. We are better than this. #savelives #protectwomen
  • More peaceful less violence
  • Less worry, less hate, less evil… My type of world
  • More love in the world
  • Progress
  • I wouldn’t have depression from past bullying
  • Better future
  • Wear whatever we want
  • Don’t let your past define you!! You’re not alone
  • Men and women would view each other as equals
  • More successful marriages
  • People would be open to try new things
  • No more child brides!
  • STOP THE MADNESS
  • Everyone would get along and be happy… not afraid of others
  • Women are not objects! Simple as it is! Respect us
  • Her/his body is not yours
  • Don’t need to walk with a knife
  • Never lie, never doubt, never fear, never cry
  • More trust
  • Full of love
  • Women would be happier to express themselves. the freedom of expression through clothing
  • Freedom of cloths
  • Not enough sticky notes to say. Many people would have been saved. PEACE OF MIND
  • No more social nervousness in public
  • Less therapy needed
  • Consent
  • Feel safe walking home
  • No more bully by the culture or disapproval by the same group of people
  • IT NEEDS TO COME TO AN END
  • STOP THINKING WOMEN ARE YOUR TARGET
  • Take down the institution of white patriarchy! The world suffers too much from them
  • Families would be happier together
  • Better, safer
  • Women feeling safer alone in public. Men shouldn’t fear that falsehood affect their future
  • A place where people have one less thing to worry about
  • When you speak up you are better
  • Love and affection
  • If the devil has to ask permission from Judas, what does say someone who doesn’t even ask for consent
  • Nothing to worry about, and less problems
  • You are great just the way you are
  • Women in CHARGE!
  • Women would not be afraid of expressing themselves
  • Say what you mean and mean what you say
  • GREAT
  • Amazing
  • What would you gain from sexual violence? NOTHING! I thought so too
  • My father shouldn’t have to warn me about boys

 

09.25.2019 Annandale Campus

 

  • A world filled with true happiness and equality. A world like that should be normal
  • A safe feeling
  • A wonderful world
  • Always love yourself
  • It would be a world where women would feel safe to accept themselves and own their sexuality without fear of judgment or harassment.
  • There would be more interpersonal trust between people and strangers
  • I wouldn’t be afraid to walk when its dark
  • People won’t feel ashamed anymore
  • More peaceful
  • My sister wouldn’t be scared to go clubbing with me
  • A perfect society
  • Better and safer
  • I would go back to my country without the fear of being raped or killed
  • Bring peace to the world. We all own one
  • Children can freely play around in the community. Women can enjoy free times safely
  • Freedom to be who I’ve always wanted to be
  • Children will be happy. Not scared when they’re alone
  • Walking in the streets with no fear
  • Parents wouldn’t worry this much anymore. I would be ok all alone
  • Better world
  • I wouldn’t have to worry what I wear, what I’m doing, where I’m going.
  • Families would stick together
  • We can all stick together and be there for each other
  • Equality
  • The world wouldn’t be the same without you
  • No fear
  • Better place
  • Wearing a short skirt wouldn’t be an issue
  • Women rule! Women power!
  • Women would be ahead of men and there would be a unified culture
  • Safer place
  • Supporting each other
  • There would be less dramas for the victims
  • People would feel safer regardless of what they wore
  • A lot less cases of powerful people getting off scott free
  • A world where people can live with confidence that when they walk out their own they’ll be safe
  • Everyone would be happy. Everyone would have self-confident on everything they do
  • Taking walks alone at night
  • A whole lot better
  • My daughters and granddaughters would not have to worry about their safety
  • I wouldn’t have to question everyday if I was bad enough
  • Less stress less lies
  • Learn without fear. I would remember more of my life. More opportunities

 

SAS Fall Semester Outreach Events

We are hoping you will stop by some of our 2019 Fall Semester SAS Outreach events. Volunteers are welcome. Comment on this post to send us a private message or email us at NOVA.SAS@nvcc.edu, or call 703-338-0834 if you are interested in volunteering at any of our upcoming events.

Tip of the Week: September 8 -14 is National Suicide Prevention Week

September 10th  is World Suicide Prevention Day! Let’s celebrate awareness! 1,100 of college students commit suicide every year, and 10% think seriously about suicide as an option. Many of us have either been personally affected by or know someone who has been affected by a suicide. It is important to remember you are NOT ALONE! If you or your friends express an interest in suicide, it is important to take it seriously! The best way to prevent suicide is to recognize these warning signs and know how to respond if you spot them. Here are some signs to look out for:
• Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself
• Looking for a way to kill oneself
• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose
• Talking about feeling trapped or being in unbearable pain
• Talking about being a burden to others; Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
• Acting anxious, agitated, or reckless
• Sleeping too little or too much
• Withdrawing or feeling isolated
• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
• Displaying extreme mood swings.
For immediate help, please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or for other resources visit:
https://afsp.org/find-support/
Or
https://www.nvcc.edu/novacares/resources.html

Healthy Relationships Week! Tip: What is an Abusive Relationship?

Abusive relationships come in all different shapes and sizes. If your partner doesn’t let you wear certain things or gets upset when you wear certain clothing in public, that is abuse. If your partner gets upset at YOU when other people give you attention you may not have wanted, that is also abuse. Physical violence isn’t the only form of abuse. To find resources or get more information on domestic violence (dating/partner violence), visit http://www.nvcc.edu/novacares/sas/dating.html. To contact a 24 hour NOVA Sexual Assault Services coordinator for free confidential support, please call 703.338.0834 or email NOVA.SAS@nvcc.edu.

In celebration of Valentine’s Day NOVA SEXUAL ASSAULT SERVICES (known as “SAS”) will be visiting the Manassas, Loudoun, Woodbridge, Annandale and Alexandria NOVA Campuses to share information on Healthy Relationships. Stop by our table where you can gather information on HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS and create your own handmade Valentine’s Day Cards for family, friends or that special someone in your life for free!

 

 

Manassas – Thursday, Feb 7th from 10-2 – Howsman Cafeteria
Loudoun – Monday, February 11th from 11-2 – LC Cafe
Alexandria – Tuesday, February 12th from 11-2 – Bisdorf Cafeteria
Woodbridge – Wednesday, February 13th from 10:30 – 1:30 – WAS Café
Annandale – Thursday, February 14th from 11-2 – CA 3rd Floor

Hope to see you there and bring your friends!

 

https://www.nvcc.edu/novacares/sas/dating.html

NOVA SAS Project – Vision Wall: Imagine a World Without Sexual Violence!

Imagine a World Without Sexual Violence!  What would be different????  Stop by our outreach events this semester and let your voice be heard on our Vision Wall!  Just write a note (it’s anonymous) to be added to the Vision Wall on what the world would be like without sexual violence.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Help us spread awareness and show support to victims and survivors by participating in The Clothesline Project. Happening at the MEC today (October 3) and tomorrow from 10am – 3pm!

 

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH

National Domestic Violence Awareness Month is an annual designation observed in October. For many, home is a place of love, warmth, and comfort. It’s somewhere that you know you will be surrounded by care and support, and a nice little break from the busyness of the real world. But for millions of others, home is anything but a sanctuary. The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are victims of physical violence by a partner every year.

Every 9 seconds, a woman in the U.S. is beaten or assaulted by a current or ex-significant other.

Here’s another shocking statistic: the number of U.S. troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 is 6,488. The number of women that were murdered by current or ex-male partners during that same time frame is 11,766, according to the Huffington Post. That’s almost double the number of people that were killed fighting in war. People who are in an abusive relationship will stay with their partner for a number of reasons:

-Their self-esteem is totally destroyed, and they are made to feel they will never be able to find another person to be with.

-The cycle of abuse, meaning the ‘honeymoon phase’ that follows physical and mental abuse, makes them believe their partner really is sorry, and does love them.

-It’s dangerous to leave. Women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the weeks after leaving their abusive partner than at any other time in the relationship, according to the Domestic Violence Intervention program.

-They feel personally responsible for their partner, or their own behavior. They are made to feel like everything that goes wrong is their fault.

They share a life. Marriages, children, homes, pets, and finances are a big reason victims of abuse feel they can’t leave.

HOW TO OBSERVE

Use #DomesticViolenceAwareness to post on social media. Sometimes, people don’t know if they are really in an abusive relationship because they’re used to their partner calling them crazy or making them feel like all the problems are their own fault. Here are a few ways to know if you’re in an abusive relationship that you need to get out of.

  1. Your partner has hit you, beat you, or strangled you in the past.
  2. Your partner is possessive. They check up on you constantly wondering where you are; they get mad at you for hanging out with certain people if you don’t do what they say.
  3. Your partner is jealous. (A small amount of jealousy is normal and healthy) however, if they accuse you of being unfaithful or isolate you from family or friends, that means the jealousy has gone too far.
  4. Your partner puts you down. They attack your intelligence, looks, mental health, or capabilities. They blame you for all of their violent outbursts and tell you nobody else will want you if you leave.
  5. Your partner threatens you or your family.
  6. Your partner physically and sexually abuses you. If they EVER push, shove, or hit you, or make you have sex with them when you don’t want to, they are abusing you (even if it doesn’t happen all the time.)

HISTORY

Domestic Violence Awareness Month evolved from the “Day of Unity” held in October 1981 and conceived by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. The “Day of Unity” soon evolved into a week, and in October of 1987, the first National Domestic Violence Awareness Month was observed. In 1989 Congress passed Public Law 101-112, officially designating October of that year as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Such legislation has been passed each year since.

As this month comes to an end, the important discussion it brings to the forefront about domestic violence’s horrific repercussions should not.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse, please click here for help. If you are in danger, call 911.