Tag Archives: violence

Tip of the Week: Red Flags within a Relationship

Do you know the expression “love is blinding”? This is a true statement. Even when your gut is telling you that something is wrong, you often ignore it. However, your gut is never wrong. Here are some red flags to look out for when in a relationship:
• Blames others for own faults
• Drug/ Alcohol use/abuse
• Explosive temper
• Extreme jealousy or insecurity
• Fascination with weapons
• Strong gender stereotypes
• Difficulty with authority
• Cannot express emotions verbally
• Treats partner like property/possession
• Isolates you from friends and family
• Blows up about little things
• Thinks it’s okay to resolve conflict with violence
• Checking emails, cellphones and social media without permission
• Constantly insulting or putting down partner and/or humiliating partner in public or in front of loved ones

If you or someone you know sees the warning signs in their relationship, then remember you are not alone and that you have the option to seek help. You can always reach out by contacting NOVA Sexual Assault Services (SAS) directly at nova.sas@nvcc.edu or 703-338-0834.
https://www.nvcc.edu/novacares/sas/dating.html
If you would like to learn more about this topic, join us for our Red Flag Campaign on Monday, March 2nd from 11am to 2pm in the LC Café on the Loudoun Campus. Hope to see you there! https://www.facebook.com/events/166424331470492/

National Vision Wall: September 2019

Imagine a world without sexual violence, what’s different?

(This was the question that was asked and these are the responses received.  Numbers behind the statement indicate how many times this particular statement was made.)

 

09.24.2019 Annandale Campus

  • I wouldn’t have had to grow up too fast. I could have enjoyed my childhood.
  • Free to get out at night x3
  • It’s a common misconception but men should feel the need to speak up when they are sexually abused!
  • Men wouldn’t be reliant on toxic behavior and would be more mindful and emotionally intelligent.
  • Everyone will be free x 4
  • Stay strong! You’re wonderful no matter what
  • Less murders
  • Less stress, feeling safe and more confidence x6
  • I would sleep better
  • Ability to love wholeheartedly
  • Respect to others would rise and fear between genders would diminish. A peaceful world.
  • There would be more freedom between all genders in all places like the subway!
  • One less hard conversation to have
  • Happy life and women would love themselves more. Avoiding pregnancy that they don’t wish.
  • Humanity would thrive and be unified
  • I wouldn’t need to double check my locks
  • Peaceful, safe and sound
  • I wouldn’t need to worry about wearing short skirts
  • Sweet dreams, good life
  • People are more friendlier and confident
  • A safer world for women, children and men
  • The world would be at peace
  • I would be able to walk outside comfortably
  • The world would be such a better place without worries for little girls and boys over what to wear and people destroying their lives
  • Happy x5
  • So much better x 5
  • No fear and no trauma
  • Less fear x5
  • We would be more confident in our bodies x3
  • It’s childish! We need to make better decisions. We are better than this. #savelives #protectwomen
  • More peaceful less violence
  • Less worry, less hate, less evil… My type of world
  • More love in the world
  • Progress
  • I wouldn’t have depression from past bullying
  • Better future
  • Wear whatever we want
  • Don’t let your past define you!! You’re not alone
  • Men and women would view each other as equals
  • More successful marriages
  • People would be open to try new things
  • No more child brides!
  • STOP THE MADNESS
  • Everyone would get along and be happy… not afraid of others
  • Women are not objects! Simple as it is! Respect us
  • Her/his body is not yours
  • Don’t need to walk with a knife
  • Never lie, never doubt, never fear, never cry
  • More trust
  • Full of love
  • Women would be happier to express themselves. the freedom of expression through clothing
  • Freedom of cloths
  • Not enough sticky notes to say. Many people would have been saved. PEACE OF MIND
  • No more social nervousness in public
  • Less therapy needed
  • Consent
  • Feel safe walking home
  • No more bully by the culture or disapproval by the same group of people
  • IT NEEDS TO COME TO AN END
  • STOP THINKING WOMEN ARE YOUR TARGET
  • Take down the institution of white patriarchy! The world suffers too much from them
  • Families would be happier together
  • Better, safer
  • Women feeling safer alone in public. Men shouldn’t fear that falsehood affect their future
  • A place where people have one less thing to worry about
  • When you speak up you are better
  • Love and affection
  • If the devil has to ask permission from Judas, what does say someone who doesn’t even ask for consent
  • Nothing to worry about, and less problems
  • You are great just the way you are
  • Women in CHARGE!
  • Women would not be afraid of expressing themselves
  • Say what you mean and mean what you say
  • GREAT
  • Amazing
  • What would you gain from sexual violence? NOTHING! I thought so too
  • My father shouldn’t have to warn me about boys

 

09.25.2019 Annandale Campus

 

  • A world filled with true happiness and equality. A world like that should be normal
  • A safe feeling
  • A wonderful world
  • Always love yourself
  • It would be a world where women would feel safe to accept themselves and own their sexuality without fear of judgment or harassment.
  • There would be more interpersonal trust between people and strangers
  • I wouldn’t be afraid to walk when its dark
  • People won’t feel ashamed anymore
  • More peaceful
  • My sister wouldn’t be scared to go clubbing with me
  • A perfect society
  • Better and safer
  • I would go back to my country without the fear of being raped or killed
  • Bring peace to the world. We all own one
  • Children can freely play around in the community. Women can enjoy free times safely
  • Freedom to be who I’ve always wanted to be
  • Children will be happy. Not scared when they’re alone
  • Walking in the streets with no fear
  • Parents wouldn’t worry this much anymore. I would be ok all alone
  • Better world
  • I wouldn’t have to worry what I wear, what I’m doing, where I’m going.
  • Families would stick together
  • We can all stick together and be there for each other
  • Equality
  • The world wouldn’t be the same without you
  • No fear
  • Better place
  • Wearing a short skirt wouldn’t be an issue
  • Women rule! Women power!
  • Women would be ahead of men and there would be a unified culture
  • Safer place
  • Supporting each other
  • There would be less dramas for the victims
  • People would feel safer regardless of what they wore
  • A lot less cases of powerful people getting off scott free
  • A world where people can live with confidence that when they walk out their own they’ll be safe
  • Everyone would be happy. Everyone would have self-confident on everything they do
  • Taking walks alone at night
  • A whole lot better
  • My daughters and granddaughters would not have to worry about their safety
  • I wouldn’t have to question everyday if I was bad enough
  • Less stress less lies
  • Learn without fear. I would remember more of my life. More opportunities

 

Tip of the Week: Prevention of Cyberstalking

Tip of the Week: Cyberstalking

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn: so much of our everyday life is viral! Checking and updating our accounts daily has become a normal routine, like brushing our teeth. However, we often forget the dangers that come with our social media followers. When hitting “post” we can forget the dangers of cyberstalking. Your stalker may be a stranger or someone who has an active role in your life. Along with electronic stalking and harassment, cyberstalking can also include identity theft, soliciting for sex, slander, or gathering your personal information to threaten, blackmail, or embarrass you. Cyberstalking is dangerous and can quickly escalate. Many of us have been affected or personally know someone who has. Check out the following tips to keeping yourself safe:

  1. Block any and all suspicious users
  2. Do not add or accept users that you do not know
  3. Do not respond to private messages to anyone you don’t know
  4. When posting, do not share specifics about your location.
  5. Do not share your last name, phone number, or email on online dating sites until you have met in person.

For additional resources visit:

Cyber stalking background with some smooth lines, 3D rendering, a red stop sign

https://www.nvcc.edu/novacares/resources.html

 

NOVA SAS Project – Vision Wall: Imagine a World Without Sexual Violence!

Imagine a World Without Sexual Violence!  What would be different????  Stop by our outreach events this semester and let your voice be heard on our Vision Wall!  Just write a note (it’s anonymous) to be added to the Vision Wall on what the world would be like without sexual violence.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Help us spread awareness and show support to victims and survivors by participating in The Clothesline Project. Happening at the MEC today (October 3) and tomorrow from 10am – 3pm!

 

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH

National Domestic Violence Awareness Month is an annual designation observed in October. For many, home is a place of love, warmth, and comfort. It’s somewhere that you know you will be surrounded by care and support, and a nice little break from the busyness of the real world. But for millions of others, home is anything but a sanctuary. The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are victims of physical violence by a partner every year.

Every 9 seconds, a woman in the U.S. is beaten or assaulted by a current or ex-significant other.

Here’s another shocking statistic: the number of U.S. troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 is 6,488. The number of women that were murdered by current or ex-male partners during that same time frame is 11,766, according to the Huffington Post. That’s almost double the number of people that were killed fighting in war. People who are in an abusive relationship will stay with their partner for a number of reasons:

-Their self-esteem is totally destroyed, and they are made to feel they will never be able to find another person to be with.

-The cycle of abuse, meaning the ‘honeymoon phase’ that follows physical and mental abuse, makes them believe their partner really is sorry, and does love them.

-It’s dangerous to leave. Women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the weeks after leaving their abusive partner than at any other time in the relationship, according to the Domestic Violence Intervention program.

-They feel personally responsible for their partner, or their own behavior. They are made to feel like everything that goes wrong is their fault.

They share a life. Marriages, children, homes, pets, and finances are a big reason victims of abuse feel they can’t leave.

HOW TO OBSERVE

Use #DomesticViolenceAwareness to post on social media. Sometimes, people don’t know if they are really in an abusive relationship because they’re used to their partner calling them crazy or making them feel like all the problems are their own fault. Here are a few ways to know if you’re in an abusive relationship that you need to get out of.

  1. Your partner has hit you, beat you, or strangled you in the past.
  2. Your partner is possessive. They check up on you constantly wondering where you are; they get mad at you for hanging out with certain people if you don’t do what they say.
  3. Your partner is jealous. (A small amount of jealousy is normal and healthy) however, if they accuse you of being unfaithful or isolate you from family or friends, that means the jealousy has gone too far.
  4. Your partner puts you down. They attack your intelligence, looks, mental health, or capabilities. They blame you for all of their violent outbursts and tell you nobody else will want you if you leave.
  5. Your partner threatens you or your family.
  6. Your partner physically and sexually abuses you. If they EVER push, shove, or hit you, or make you have sex with them when you don’t want to, they are abusing you (even if it doesn’t happen all the time.)

HISTORY

Domestic Violence Awareness Month evolved from the “Day of Unity” held in October 1981 and conceived by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. The “Day of Unity” soon evolved into a week, and in October of 1987, the first National Domestic Violence Awareness Month was observed. In 1989 Congress passed Public Law 101-112, officially designating October of that year as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Such legislation has been passed each year since.

As this month comes to an end, the important discussion it brings to the forefront about domestic violence’s horrific repercussions should not.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse, please click here for help. If you are in danger, call 911.

 

Professional Sports Leagues Respond to Domestic Violence

October 2, 2015: Professional Sports Leagues Respond to Domestic Violence

DVAM:
Did You Know?
Did you know that each of the major professional sports leagues in our country have policies and services to respond to domestic violence, whether their players are victimized or perpetrate violence?
MLB (Major League Baseball): The most recent league to implement a policy, MLB’s is a comprehensive response that includes investigation and discipline for current offenses, treatment and intervention for both the victim and the offender, and regular prevention education.
NBA (National Basketball Association): Domestic violence convictions are handled under the league’s rules about “Unlawful Violence” – players are immediately suspended for a minimum of 10 games, must get a clinical evaluation and attend counseling sessions. Additionally, NBA union officials said players already receive [prevention] training at least one year before they join the basketball league.
NFL (National Football League): The NFL’s policy, announced in December 2014, includes developing critical response teams for each team as well as prevention education programming for youth in football programs.
NHL (National Hockey League): Officials said they meet with players annually to discuss conduct and conduct and determine responses to domestic violence on a case-by-case basis.
Sources: Click on the hyperlinks above for more information.

What can we do?

 Get Educated!
o Watch the NFL’s Call to Coaches video

o Read this research overview on engaging men and boys and this research on how to mobilize men and boys as allies

 Promote implementation of primary prevention programs such as:

o Coaching Boys into Men

o Teach Early

 Attend George Mason University’s Healthy Masculinity workshop on 10/28.

 Use social media to spread the word!
o DVAM: Did you know that all major professional sports leagues have policies in place to respond to #DomesticViolence? Let’s take their lead and promote prevention efforts, such as Teach Early, in youth sports leagues here in #FairfaxCounty. #DVAM2015 #LookAgain

o DYK we can help stop #domesticviolence through youth prevention efforts, such as #TeachEarly. #DVAM2015 #FairfaxCounty #LookAgain
[Go to: http://teachearly.org/, when you scroll down the page, social media links will pop up on the left.]

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM)

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM)! Each business day in October, we send out a “DVAM: Did You Know?” highlighting interesting research findings and statistics or best practices in preventing and responding to domestic violence. Please share with your friends, family members, community groups, and colleagues.

October 1, 2015: Look Again at Domestic Violence in Fairfax County

DVAM:
Did You Know?

Did you know that every day in Fairfax County we respond to two people who are at high risk for homicide or serious physical injury at the hands of the person they love?

The Fairfax County Police Department has teamed up with the Fairfax County Office for Women & Domestic and Sexual Violence Services, Artemis House (Shelter House, Inc.), Bethany House of Northern Virginia, the Office of the Commonwealth’s Attorney, and the Victim Services Section of the FCPD to better predict and, ultimately, prevent serious injury and homicide from happening.

On July 1, 2015, those agencies started the Lethality Assessment Program. In the first two months of the program, over half (54%) of all domestic violence cases screened by FCPD were high-danger.

Of those cases, victims reported serious lethality risks, such as:
1. 33% reported the presence of a firearm in the home (or easy access to one)
 The presence of a firearm makes it 5 times more like domestic violence will turn into murder.*

2. 55% reported stalking victimization (the offender following or spying on them or leaving threatening messages)
 Nationally, 76% of femicide victims were stalked prior to their murder.

3. 64% reported a history of strangulation (often referred to as ‘choking’)
 Strangulation is a serious crime that often leaves no visible injuries, even though it can create temporary or permanent brain damage in as little as 30 seconds.

 A victim of domestic violence with a history of strangulation has a 800% increased risk of homicide.

*J. C. Campbell, D; Webster, J; Koziol-McLain, C. R; et al. 2003. Risk Factors For Femicide in Abusive Relationships: Results From A Multi-Site Case Control Study. American Journal of Public Health. 93(7). Accessed from: http://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/userfiles/file/Children_and_Families/Guns.pdf
** Judith McFarlane et al., “Stalking and Intimate Partner Femicide,” Homicide Studies 3, no. 4 (1999).] More at: http://www.victimsofcrime.org/docs/src/stalking-fact-sheet_english.pdf
*** Jacquelyn C. Campbell, Daniel Webster, Jane Koziol-McLain, et al. “Risk Factors for Femicide in Abusive Relationships: Results from a Multisite Case Control Study.” American Journal of Public Health, Volume 93, No. 7 (July 2003) 1089-1097. A study of 300 cases of strangulation survivors conducted by the San Diego City Attorney’s Office revealed that in 50% of the cases there were no visible markings to the neck and 35 % had only minor injuries (Strack, McClane & Hawley, 2001).
Info: http://www.janedoe.org/site/assets/docs/Learn_More/DV_Homicide/JDI_MediaGuide_Strangulation.pdf

What can we do?

 Let’s change those statistics! Educating ourselves and our community members is a good first start:

o Join us for a media event today at 1:30pm at the Historic Courthouse: https://fcpdnews.wordpress.com/2015/09/28/preventing-domestic-violence-homicide/!

o Use social media to spread the word! Post or tweet responsible media articles (like any on the LAP press release above) on the subject or simple facts about the issue. Find sample posts and tweets like these each day in the DVAM Did you Know? this month:

o DVAM: Did you know that #domesticviolence is a leading cause of homicide in Fairfax County? DV-related homicides are predictable and preventable. Please help spread the word that services and support are available. For help, call Fairfax County’s 24-hour Hotline: 703-360-7273.

o DYK #DomesticViolence is a leading cause of homicide in #FairfaxCounty? Help is available: 703-360-7273 (24 HR) #DVAM2015 #LookAgain http://bit.ly/ffxdv

o Start a conversation! Everyone can speak out against domestic violence. You may be the safest person for a family member, friend, neighbor, or coworker to talk to. Check out these tips:
o What to say when you think someone is being abused
o What to say if you suspect someone is using abusive behavior

Sandy Bromley, JD
Fairfax County-Wide Domestic Violence Coordinator
Office: (703) 324-9494 Cell: (571) 215-2429
Community Events & Resources: www.fairfaxdvcommunity.org

Fairfax County Domestic Violence Action Center (DVAC)
Web: http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/domesticviolence/dvac/
Information & Intake Line: (703) 246-4573

Fairfax County Office for Women & Domestic and Sexual Violence Services
Web: www.fairfaxcounty.gov/ofw
24-hour Hotline: (703) 360-7273

NOVA’s First Annual “Take Back The Night” Rally and March April 22, LO

Take Back the Night Flyer 2014

NOVA’s First Annual Take Back the Night  is scheduled at the Loudoun Campus on Tuesday, April 22nd beginning at 6:30 PM.

The purpose of a Take Back The Night is to raise awareness about violence against women, specifically sexual assault and domestic violence.  There will be speakers from within the College and from the wider community.  Some students will speak out about their personal experiences.  Resources will be available from many community agencies.  The rally will be followed by a short candlelight march around LO (to invigorate the crowd and to add a special significance to the event.  And finally, Sexual Assault Services will provide an open area for those in attendance to share their experiences in a Safe Room at LO.

This entire event has been organized and is sponsored by NOVA Sexual Assault Services.  We welcome your attendance.  Please pass along the information to anyone you think might be interested.