Tag Archives: NOVACares

Daily Affirmations for a Positive Mindset

Increasing expectations for productivity and perfection placed on each of us in a world of “Go! Go! Go!” can bring about feelings of frustration, failure, and negativity.  Having a rainbow of emotions is something we all experience and have to manage.   At times, feeling low or upset can make getting through the day seem impossible, and that the world expects you to ALWAYS smile through your pain.  Healthy positivity entails being honest about your feelings and expectations with yourself and others, not expecting or trying to attain perfection, and acknowledging your mood has direct implications on your outlook and output in a given day.

Reciting daily affirmations is a tool to help combat negativity.  You can try the examples below, and may enjoy coming up with your own.  Place them in locations you encounter early in your day, like your bathroom mirror or refrigerator door.  Consider using objects, like keychains, or participating in The Kindness Rocks Project . You can also utilize an app, like ThinkUp (iOS and Android devices.), to search affirmations and record your own, or put an affirmation in the subject line of your phone alarm clock.  Remember: “You are what you think!”

  • I am loved, and I am lovable.
  • I am enough.
  • I let go of past hurts as they no longer serve me.
  • I am capable.
  • I will not compare myself to strangers on the internet.
  • I will utilize my talents today.
  • I wake up today with strength in my heart, and clarity in my mind.
  • My fears of the unknown are fading away.
  • I’m getting stronger every day.
  • I can do this.
  • I have the courage to say no.
  • I will not take negativity from others personally.
  • This is my body, and I love it.
  • It is fine for me to make mistakes; I will use them to grow.
  • I will not apologize for being myself.
  • My goals are my focus.
  • Success is in my future.
  • I will not sweat the small stuff.
  • I will work smarter, not harder.
  • I will celebrate the small victories.

NOVACares does not endorse the application referenced above; it is included for illustrative purposes only.

Moving From Racism and Discrimination to Healing and Inclusion

If you have been paying attention to the news and social media outlets in the past week, you undoubtedly have seen events unfolding around policy brutality, racial injustice, and frustrations of many boiling over as we continue to navigate the COVID-19 pandemic.  One pressing issue on the minds of many is regarding privilege.

Privilege is unseen to those that have it, and we each have to be mindful not to diminish or dismiss experiences, hardships or traumas of others just because it is not our direct experience.  To do so is alienating, and furthers the divide between humans.  Seeking and succeeding in solidarity requires us to give focus to the traits and experiences that highlight commonalities among us instead of solely focusing on what makes us different, and treating those differences as negatives or deficiencies.  Appreciation of those differences will also serve to connect us, if we allow space to appreciate individual and cultural uniqueness.

As the days move forward, many difficult conversations will be had about privilege, community and law enforcement relations, and racial inequality.  You may experience uncertainty about what to do for yourself or others, engage in self-evaluation about personal and implicit biases, and feel diminished hope because the pain feels too great.  However, there are means to maintain hope and contribute to move our community forward.

Ways you can take care of yourself include taking a pause and logging off social media accounts, limiting your news intake, and avoiding comment sections if the content overwhelms you.  Take a moment to think before you type and respond, take deep breaths and disconnect if you need to, and allow yourself to revisit content at a later time. It is okay to ask others about their experiences to gain awareness of perspectives you may not be attuned to, and allow this to bolster your relationships and self-growth.

Ways you can support others include checking in with your family, friends and neighbors, encouraging them to engage in self-care, and linking them to resources if you suspect they are struggling with their mental health.  Hearing your loved ones out on their experiences and thoughts about race relations is a very validating and supportive way to be present for them.

If you or anyone you know is struggling at this time, you can text HOME to 741741 for confidential chat support from trained staff, or call 1-800-273-8255 (available 24/7).

Setting and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries


Boundaries are absolutely vital for healthy relationships- most importantly, your relationship with yourself.  It is a way to maintain balance in your life by learning, acknowledging and holding others to your personal limits.  This supports positive self-image and healthy self-esteem.  For most of us, it is not a skill we were taught, rather, through experience and watching others, we determine what is- and is not- acceptable for each of us.  As this skill can be challenging to develop and maintain, below are some tips from Dr. Dana Gionta for setting and maintaining healthy boundaries (courtesy of Psych Central article, 10 Ways to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries by Margarita Tartakovsky, MS):

  1. Name your limits.

You can’t set good boundaries if you’re unsure of where you stand. So identify your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual limits, Gionta said. Consider what you can tolerate and accept and what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed.  “Those feelings help us identify what our limits are.”

  1. Tune into your feelings.

Gionta has observed two key feelings in others that are red flags or cues that we’re letting go of our boundaries: discomfort and resentment. She suggested thinking of these feelings on a continuum from one to 10. Six to 10 is in the higher zone, she said.

If you’re at the higher end of this continuum, during an interaction or in a situation, Gionta suggested asking yourself, what is causing that? What is it about this interaction, or the person’s expectation that is bothering me?

Resentment usually “comes from being taken advantage of or not appreciated.” It’s often a sign that we’re pushing ourselves either beyond our own limits because we feel guilty (and want to be a good daughter or wife, for instance), or someone else is imposing their expectations, views or values on us, she said.

“When someone acts in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that’s a cue to us they may be violating or crossing a boundary,” Gionta said.

  1. Be direct.

With some people, maintaining healthy boundaries doesn’t require a direct and clear-cut dialogue. Usually, this is the case if people are similar in their communication styles, views, personalities and general approach to life, Gionta said. They’ll “approach each other similarly.”

With others, such as those who have a different personality or cultural background, you’ll need to be more direct about your boundaries. Consider the following example: “one person feels [that] challenging someone’s opinions is a healthy way of communicating,” but to another person this feels disrespectful and tense.

There are other times you might need to be direct. For instance, in a romantic relationship, time can become a boundary issue, Gionta said. Partners might need to talk about how much time they need to maintain their sense of self and how much time to spend together.

  1. Give yourself permission.

Fear, guilt and self-doubt are big potential pitfalls, Gionta said. We might fear the other person’s response if we set and enforce our boundaries. We might feel guilty by speaking up or saying no to a family member. Many believe that they should be able to cope with a situation or say yes because they’re a good daughter or son, even though they “feel drained or taken advantage of.” We might wonder if we even deserve to have boundaries in the first place.

Boundaries aren’t just a sign of a healthy relationship; they’re a sign of self-respect. So give yourself the permission to set boundaries and work to preserve them.

  1. Practice self-awareness.

Again, boundaries are all about honing in on your feelings and honoring them. If you notice yourself slipping and not sustaining your boundaries, Gionta suggested asking yourself: What’s changed? Consider “What I am doing or [what is] the other person doing?” or “What is the situation eliciting that’s making me resentful or stressed?” Then, mull over your options: “What am I going to do about the situation? What do I have control over?”

  1. Consider your past and present.

How you were raised along with your role in your family can become additional obstacles in setting and preserving boundaries. If you held the role of caretaker, you learned to focus on others, letting yourself be drained emotionally or physically, Gionta said. Ignoring your own needs might have become the norm for you.

Also, think about the people you surround yourself with, she said. “Are the relationships reciprocal?” Is there a healthy give and take?

Beyond relationships, your environment might be unhealthy, too. For instance, if your workday is eight hours a day, but your co-workers stay at least 10 to 11, “there’s an implicit expectation to go above and beyond” at work, Gionta said. It can be challenging being the only one or one of a few trying to maintain healthy boundaries, she said. Again, this is where tuning into your feelings and needs and honoring them becomes critical.

  1. Make self-care a priority.

Gionta helps her clients make self-care a priority, which also involves giving yourself permission to put yourself first. When we do this, “our need and motivation to set boundaries become stronger,” she said. Self-care also means recognizing the importance of your feelings and honoring them. These feelings serve as “important cues about our wellbeing and about what makes us happy and unhappy.”

Putting yourself first also gives you the “energy, peace of mind and positive outlook to be more present with others and be there” for them.” And “When we’re in a better place, we can be a better wife, mother, husband, co-worker or friend.”

  1. Seek support.

If you’re having a hard time with boundaries, “seek some support, whether [that’s a] support group, church, counseling, coaching or good friends.” With friends or family, you can even make “it a priority with each other to practice setting boundaries together [and] hold each other accountable.”

Consider seeking support through resources, too. Gionta likes the following books: The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time and Boundaries in Marriage (along with several books on boundaries by the same authors).

  1. Be assertive.

Of course, we know that it’s not enough to create boundaries; we actually have to follow through. Even though we know intellectually that people aren’t mind readers, we still expect others to know what hurts us, Gionta said. Since they don’t, it’s important to assertively communicate with the other person when they’ve crossed a boundary.

In a respectful way, let the other person know what in particular is bothersome to you and that you can work together to address it, Gionta said.

  1. Start small.

Like any new skill, assertively communicating your boundaries takes practice. Gionta suggested starting with a small boundary that isn’t threatening to you, and then incrementally increasing to more challenging boundaries. “Build upon your success, and [at first] try not to take on something that feels overwhelming.”

“Setting boundaries takes courage, practice and support,” Gionta said. And remember that it’s a skill you can master.

Source:  https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries/

Cumulative Stress: What is it, and what to do about it

Cumulative stress is an accumulation of stress that impacts bodily functioning, cognitive output, mood and your ability to function healthily.  Stress can be both positive; such as working towards a degree or getting a promotion, and negative; such as making a major life decision or experiencing a loss.  The impact of these positive and negative stressors without the balance of self-care and routine can be detrimental to your health and overall functioning, resulting in illness, injury, feelings of depletion, and inability to meet goals and fulfill obligations.

To manage your stress, “keep your bucket full,” meaning, be purposeful in replenishing your energy through adequate sleep, healthy diet, exercise, healthy relationships and hobbies.  If you do not, you may end up involuntarily refilling your bucket after a sickness or injury, when you have no choice but to sit and rest.

Per the Office of Student and Community Services, Department of Student Services of Montgomery County Public Schools in Rockville, Maryland, here are some ways to combat cumulative stress:

  • Create a daily routine to help regain a sense of control
  • Eat balanced, healthy meals
  • Get extra rest to let your body relax and recover
  • Exercise
  • Let frustration and anger out through safe, exhausting physical activity
  • Ask for support from friends, colleagues, and loved ones
  • Avoid alcohol, drugs, and tobacco
  • Limit caffeine
  • Don’t dwell on news of the crisis; gather the information you need, then turn off the TV or radio
  • Be aware of the impact of your own past experiences on your current functioning
  • Seek mental health assistance when you are concerned about your reactions.

For more information on cumulative stress, visit:

https://jamesclear.com/cumulative-stress

https://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/emergency/resources/mental-cumulative.aspx

Self-Care in Minutes

Self-care is an intentional activity meant to support your emotional, mental, and physical well-being.  It is often overlooked, but is vital for a healthy relationship with yourself.  Self-care strengthens self-esteem, the experience of positive feelings and self-confidence, and allows you to maintain openness to positivity from others.  Self-care will also help you to have the energy to get through work and personal commitments.  It can look a lot of ways, like asserting boundaries, saying “no”, asking for help, forgiving yourself, and taking a break.  Self-care does not require grand effort or lots of money; below are some examples of what you can do to take care of yourself:

5 minutes-

  • Drink a glass of water or a cup of tea/coffee/cocoa
  • Text a friend
  • Stretch/take deep breaths
  • Meditate or say a prayer
  • Listen to a motivational song
  • Watch a cute animal video

15 minutes-

  • Write in your journal
  • Make a grocery list or menu
  • Go for a walk
  • Have a dance party in your jammies
  • Change your sheets
  • Phone a friend

30 minutes-

  • Take a bath
  • Exfoliate/apply a face mask
  • Engage in a hobby
  • Take a nap
  • Cook/enjoy a favorite snack or meal
  • Exercise

1+ hours-

  • Give yourself a mani/pedi
  • Watch a favorite movie/show
  • Curl up in a blanket, and listen to music
  • Read a book
  • Attend a therapy session
  • Have a video call with family/friends

NOVACares Launches New Reporting Forms

The NOVACares Office continues to be the hub for College-wide incident reporting at NOVA. The NOVACares Office received and individually screened 1,526 incident reports in 2019 and 364 incident reports in 2020 as of 4.14.20. The NOVACares Office is phasing out the “all-in-one” incident reporting form and launching four individual case type forms:   Academic Integrity Violations, Student Code of Conduct Violation, Title IX and Sexual Misconduct (report will be sent directly to the NOVA Title IX Office) and Student Needing Assistance (CARE). Each report will be screened and routed to the appropriate NOVACares Responder within two business days and the reporter will receive an email designating the case lead.

The forms are located in the same place as the previous reporting form at www.nvcc.edu/novacares.  Click on Make a Report.  FAQ’s for reporting incidents can be found at www.nvcc.edu/novacares/program/reporting.html

Then select the appropriate reporting form for the incident you are reporting. The direct link can be saved to your favorites:  www.nvcc.edu/novacares/report.html

The goal of CARE Team outreach is early intervention. We provide support and resources to avoid a crisis. Student Needing Assistance Incident Reports (CARE Team referrals) will be routed to the Campus CARE Teams.  NOVA currently has seven teams that are ready to respond to students needing outreach to enhance their chances of success at NOVA.  No request for assistance is too small; if the situation is troubling you, you should report it.   If you have questions, comments or concerns, please feel free to send an email to novacares@nvcc.edu.

If your report concerns faculty or staff, without student involvement, you may report directly to Human Resources by emailing the details to employeerelations@nvcc.edu

These forms are not intended to be a substitute for immediate intervention; if you are reporting an emergency situation or need an immediate emergency response, please contact NOVA Police at 703-764-5000 or dial 911.

 

Tip of the Week: Choosing a Major

Tip of the Week: Choosing a Major

As the semester is coming to an end, many are faced with the approaching decision of choosing a major. This decision can be a stressful and scary one. Let’s reflect on a few tips to help you in this decision process:
1. What are your interests? Take some time to think of what sparks joy in your life and what you are good at! We are more likely to succeed and excel in our careers if we have a passion for it driving us.
2. What values and beliefs are important to you? Working in a field that reflects your core values and beliefs is a vital factor to your overall happiness. Take time to write down important values that are essential in your career path.
3. Ask for help. It is always okay to ask for help. Ask your academic advisors, family, and friends their advice. Those who know you know well are there to help inspire, and motivate you to find your academic passion.
4. Use your electives to spark interest. Take advantage of your electives to find your areas of interest. Taking a wide variety of electives can help you narrow down your field of interest. You never know until you try it!
5. Volunteer in your community. Taking advantage of volunteer opportunities in your community is a great way to network and familiarize yourself in different lines of work. Not to mention it will look great on your college applications and resumes!
Choosing a major can be a difficult decision but there are resources out there to help you right here at NOVA! Visit the Advising and Counseling page at https://www.nvcc.edu/advising/index.html for counseling support for career, transfer, retention (academic success) and disability issues.
Or email AcademicAdvising@nvcc.edu (emails are answered within 24 hours).
Or chat online directly with the Live Chat link to talk with a viral advisor here: https://www.nvcc.edu/virtualadvising/index.html

National Vision Wall: September 2019

Imagine a world without sexual violence, what’s different?

(This was the question that was asked and these are the responses received.  Numbers behind the statement indicate how many times this particular statement was made.)

 

09.24.2019 Annandale Campus

  • I wouldn’t have had to grow up too fast. I could have enjoyed my childhood.
  • Free to get out at night x3
  • It’s a common misconception but men should feel the need to speak up when they are sexually abused!
  • Men wouldn’t be reliant on toxic behavior and would be more mindful and emotionally intelligent.
  • Everyone will be free x 4
  • Stay strong! You’re wonderful no matter what
  • Less murders
  • Less stress, feeling safe and more confidence x6
  • I would sleep better
  • Ability to love wholeheartedly
  • Respect to others would rise and fear between genders would diminish. A peaceful world.
  • There would be more freedom between all genders in all places like the subway!
  • One less hard conversation to have
  • Happy life and women would love themselves more. Avoiding pregnancy that they don’t wish.
  • Humanity would thrive and be unified
  • I wouldn’t need to double check my locks
  • Peaceful, safe and sound
  • I wouldn’t need to worry about wearing short skirts
  • Sweet dreams, good life
  • People are more friendlier and confident
  • A safer world for women, children and men
  • The world would be at peace
  • I would be able to walk outside comfortably
  • The world would be such a better place without worries for little girls and boys over what to wear and people destroying their lives
  • Happy x5
  • So much better x 5
  • No fear and no trauma
  • Less fear x5
  • We would be more confident in our bodies x3
  • It’s childish! We need to make better decisions. We are better than this. #savelives #protectwomen
  • More peaceful less violence
  • Less worry, less hate, less evil… My type of world
  • More love in the world
  • Progress
  • I wouldn’t have depression from past bullying
  • Better future
  • Wear whatever we want
  • Don’t let your past define you!! You’re not alone
  • Men and women would view each other as equals
  • More successful marriages
  • People would be open to try new things
  • No more child brides!
  • STOP THE MADNESS
  • Everyone would get along and be happy… not afraid of others
  • Women are not objects! Simple as it is! Respect us
  • Her/his body is not yours
  • Don’t need to walk with a knife
  • Never lie, never doubt, never fear, never cry
  • More trust
  • Full of love
  • Women would be happier to express themselves. the freedom of expression through clothing
  • Freedom of cloths
  • Not enough sticky notes to say. Many people would have been saved. PEACE OF MIND
  • No more social nervousness in public
  • Less therapy needed
  • Consent
  • Feel safe walking home
  • No more bully by the culture or disapproval by the same group of people
  • IT NEEDS TO COME TO AN END
  • STOP THINKING WOMEN ARE YOUR TARGET
  • Take down the institution of white patriarchy! The world suffers too much from them
  • Families would be happier together
  • Better, safer
  • Women feeling safer alone in public. Men shouldn’t fear that falsehood affect their future
  • A place where people have one less thing to worry about
  • When you speak up you are better
  • Love and affection
  • If the devil has to ask permission from Judas, what does say someone who doesn’t even ask for consent
  • Nothing to worry about, and less problems
  • You are great just the way you are
  • Women in CHARGE!
  • Women would not be afraid of expressing themselves
  • Say what you mean and mean what you say
  • GREAT
  • Amazing
  • What would you gain from sexual violence? NOTHING! I thought so too
  • My father shouldn’t have to warn me about boys

 

09.25.2019 Annandale Campus

 

  • A world filled with true happiness and equality. A world like that should be normal
  • A safe feeling
  • A wonderful world
  • Always love yourself
  • It would be a world where women would feel safe to accept themselves and own their sexuality without fear of judgment or harassment.
  • There would be more interpersonal trust between people and strangers
  • I wouldn’t be afraid to walk when its dark
  • People won’t feel ashamed anymore
  • More peaceful
  • My sister wouldn’t be scared to go clubbing with me
  • A perfect society
  • Better and safer
  • I would go back to my country without the fear of being raped or killed
  • Bring peace to the world. We all own one
  • Children can freely play around in the community. Women can enjoy free times safely
  • Freedom to be who I’ve always wanted to be
  • Children will be happy. Not scared when they’re alone
  • Walking in the streets with no fear
  • Parents wouldn’t worry this much anymore. I would be ok all alone
  • Better world
  • I wouldn’t have to worry what I wear, what I’m doing, where I’m going.
  • Families would stick together
  • We can all stick together and be there for each other
  • Equality
  • The world wouldn’t be the same without you
  • No fear
  • Better place
  • Wearing a short skirt wouldn’t be an issue
  • Women rule! Women power!
  • Women would be ahead of men and there would be a unified culture
  • Safer place
  • Supporting each other
  • There would be less dramas for the victims
  • People would feel safer regardless of what they wore
  • A lot less cases of powerful people getting off scott free
  • A world where people can live with confidence that when they walk out their own they’ll be safe
  • Everyone would be happy. Everyone would have self-confident on everything they do
  • Taking walks alone at night
  • A whole lot better
  • My daughters and granddaughters would not have to worry about their safety
  • I wouldn’t have to question everyday if I was bad enough
  • Less stress less lies
  • Learn without fear. I would remember more of my life. More opportunities

 

TIP OF THE WEEK: Back to School Study Tips

With Fall 2019 semester now in full swing, the academic load can be overwhelming. Let’s take a moment to determine how we can make this a successful semester! Consider the following as you go about your everyday:
1. Stay Organized: Keep a detailed calendar for both your academic and social calendars and make sure they do not collide. Setting reminders in your phone and/or using sticky notes is a great method to staying on track.
2. Time Management: This may be the most important skill you master in your NOVA career and beyond. Prioritizing your work load is essential to your success! Make sure you set aside an appropriate amount of time for your class load each week in accordance to your work life. While you may be taking on a lot this semester, may sure you make time for self-care!
3. Don’t Cram or Over Study: As tempting as staying up until 3a.m. to study for that test may be, studies show that last minute cramming only leads to undo stress, sacrificed sleeping and ultimately poor test performance. Instead let’s practice time management discussed above.
4. Unplug & Disconnect: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram can be a great source for staying in touch with loved ones, friends, and acquaintances, however, it can be a huge distraction. In your appointed study hours consider turning off all social media accounts and focusing on the here and now.
5. Find Your Comfort Zone: It is all about finding what works for you. Whether it may be the quiet library, the busy coffee shop, or the local park with distance sounds of nature. We all operate different and finding the place to focus your mind is essential to your studying success!
6. Take a Break: Sometimes the work load can seem overwhelming. Take a break! Sometimes walking away from a tough paper you are writing or a stressful test you are studying for can give you a fresh perspective when you walk back to it. Allow yourself to clear your mind and regain focus.

We hope you can find these tips helpful in your NOVA success. Additional resources can be found at: https://www.nvcc.edu/novacares/resources.html
If you need additional support, feel free to email us at: NOVACares@nvcc.edu