Eric’s Presents
It’s not even October
But I’m excited
Deliriously excited
I want to be Eric’s Secret Santa this Christmas
I need to be Eric’s Secret Santa this Christmas
I know I will
It’s only right
It’s my right
It’s my duty
We both have been plagued by that tormenting goblin of the psyche
Soul-numbing sadness
The demon on our shoulder
Clinical Depression
But I know what I’m going to get him
Turtleneck sweaters
In whites greys shells and tans
Penny loafers
Like Mister Rodgers
Made of the finest Italian leathers
Lovely trousers
Steampunk styled
Or in the clan tartan
Scarves
Also tartan
And perhaps a Burberry
Blazers and Jackets
Nautical
Royal
Fit for a captain of a ship
Or an archduke of a small European nation
Beautiful enough for all occasions
Spatterdash boots
Of Victorian tradition
To make him a gentleman fine
Dress shirts
Of the most dreamy of Oriental silks
In the most grand jeweled colors
From Crown Chakra Amethyst Purple
To Life-Blood Ruby Red
Bowties
In whimsical patterns
Dots and Spots
Stars and Suns
Smiley Faces, too
So he may smile again when he wears them
A pair or two of lavish palmless gloves
So he may be dapper
Refined
Like a marquis of a steam-powered Rococo France
Argyle socks
Of masculine blues
Greys
Greens
Reds
Golds
And purples most royal
The 10th Doctor’s coat
For some extra dashing
And maybe the 11th Doctor’s coat
If I do not get the beautiful thing for myself
Caps and hats
Driver’s caps
Fezzes
Porkpies
Bowlers
Toppers
All styles and fashions
That all handsome aristocrat boys of the technology era could ever want or need to keep in fashion
A waistcoat or two
For a touch of formality
And sweet regality
Suspenders
Not purely ornamental
And also not the cheap hipster kind
A pocketwatch
So he may be the master of his time
And drink in all moments
And not waste a drop of the day’s river
And a fragrance
A scent signature
So he may say
“The Duke Eric of Fairfax has arrived
You may grovel as you please”
Maybe leather and oakmoss
Maybe Dark chocolate and musk
Maybe mint and ginger
I have time
I can figure it out
But there are other things he needs too
Things that he needs to be a courtier
A modern noble
A true gentleman
Books
The Iliad
The Odyssey
The Works of Poe and Dickinson
And maybe a poem or two I wrote myself
A history of many countries
And a dangerous book
Filled with all sort of things for young men to do
A manual on how to stabilize his chakras
So he can feel inner peace
A handkerchief
For those situations when someone is crying
So he may offer a shed of concern for them
An army knife
And a medic kit
So he’s prepared always
Whatever else I can find
To take him from angry boy
To ducal young man
Who is knowledgeable in all things important and beautiful
And still able to smile on things frivolous
And if I get him these objects
I know he will be at least a little happy
For even if the evening of Christmas Eve comes
And he opens the box and says
“Thanks for the crap”
I know he will take at least one of the hats
Likely a fez
He will try it on
And smile for at least a millionth of a second
And I know that my task is complete
That he will grow a bit more
And become an archduke
Of all fanciful and wonderful practices
– Kayla Gastony, 2nd Place in Poetry