Episode Name Here
Television show: Author
Ep. 1: “Episode Name Here”
INT: STORE
Midday. Very full of interesting pieces such as ceramics, fancy plates, statues and such. There’s a grandfather clock in the corner with a large NOT FOR SALE sign on it. CAMDEN, 30, strong, nice, Southern, is working at the register. JILL, 35, is shopping along a shelf of porcelain. She’s very nice, but strong willed and occasionally unreliable.
CAMDEN: Buy it tomorrow. Jill, honey; you’ll get fifteen percent off.
JILL: (bantering tone) Oh, but Cam, honey, you know I can’t possibly buy anything at less than full price.
SFX: CLOCK CHIMING. One o’clock.
Jill jumps. Looks at her watch. She makes a face like she wants to swear and starts to hurry, casting a longing look toward the piece she’d been examining.
CUT TO:
EXT: MAIN STREET.
ANNA, shy but hardworking, is walking along the street leading to the store, talking on her cell phone. She’s struggling with a red scarf and her hair which are blowing about.
ANNA: Of course I wasn’t. Of course I’m not. Jimmy, please, I’m late for my interview. Okay. Love you. Bye.
And she runs straight into Jill in the doorway. They try to help each other up, but get tangled. SFX: DOOR BELL. Not doorbell, but the bell that dings when you open the door.
JILL: I’m so sorry, so sorry. Are you okay? I didn’t mean to run into you like that, I wasn’t looking where I was going and –
ANNA: (at the same time) Sorry! I’m fine, just my boyfriend, distracted me, sorry I can’t stay, but –
BOTH: I’m late!
Beat. Both start laughing at the absurdity. Collapse against the doorjamb. ERNEST, 40, tightly wound, appears from the back, hurries toward them.
ERNEST: Jill? What are you doing? You’re late for work. (not seeing Anna, checks his watch) And my interviewee is, too.
ANNA: Um, I’d be your interviewee. I’m sorry to arrive in so unprofessional a manner; I swear that’s not –
The shot freezes mid-scene as SFX: TELEPHONE.
CUT to a computer screen. The above dialogue is typed onscreen. An off-screen sigh and the sound of a person getting up from a chair as the phone continues to ring. REVEAL SHANNON, an unemotional woman in her 30s in
INT: SHANNON’S APARTMENT.
Also midday. She answers the phone.
SHANNON: Hello? (pause) Speaking. (long pause) Thank you very much. I’ll start work.
She sits back in her chair. Starts to type again.
CUT back to STORE.
ANNA: – swear that’s not a habit.
ERNEST: It’s all right. Come on back and we’ll talk. And Jill Go back to work before they notice you’re gone.
JILL: (on her way out) Don’t be too hard on her. I like this girl.
She leaves.
OPENING CREDITS.
INT: SHANNON’S APARTMENT
ZOEY: Did they call? Did you get it?
SHANNON looks up from the computer and nods. She’s not smiling, but not downcast either.
ZOEY: (con’t) Woo! I knew it! (happy dance, throwing purse down) Three cheers for The Corner Store!
She kicks her shoes off and goes to the pantry, pulls out a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses. Pulls up a chair and sits in it, pouring the wine and handing a glass to Shannon.
ZOEY: (con’t) To the newest show on TV. And its creator.
They clink glasses and sip.
ZOEY: (con’t) When are you gonna tell Mark?
SHANNON: After dinner tonight.
ZOEY: (sighing romantically) Mark’s wonderful. He’ll be so happy for you.
Shannon doesn’t react. Instead she stares at the computer.
ZOEY: (con’t) Itching to keep going?
SHANNON: Stuck, actually.
ZOEY: You’II think of something. Oh, guess what? I forgot in all the excitement. I got the job! I’m a waitress at Cricket Domino’s Dinner and Entertainment.
SHANNON: That’s great, Zo!
ZOEY: I start work on Monday. And you?
SHANNON: First draft’s due in two weeks. First episode airs in three months.
CUT TO:
INT: CONFERENCE ROOM.
Immediately after. JILL runs in and slips into an empty seat. The room is already filled with people, including ROBERTS, a tight-laced boss who never smiles.
ROBERTS: Jill? You couldn’t be bothered to be on time?
JILL: I’m sorry. Lt just happened.
ROBERTS: That’s not tolerated here. Jill. You were warned that this was becoming a problem. Can you provide me a reasonable excuse for being late?
JILL: I lost track of the time.
ROBERTS: You’re more than half an hour late for this very important meeting which you were told to be at. This is a very highly coveted position.
JILL: It won’t happen again.
ROBERTS: I should say it won’t. Collect your things.
JILL: What?
ROBERTS: Collect your things. Miss Turner. I gave you your warning more than thirty days ago. You’re through with this company.
The rest of the staff watches, sorry for her, as she leaves and walks to her nearby cubicle. She slowly picks up a framed picture of her and ERNEST, a cute glass pen holder and a pack of gum from the desk Then she crumples down into the chair and sobs, her things still in her lap. Everyone watches.
CUT TO:
EXT: FIRST STREET. Evening. Remarkably similar to Main Street. SHANNON walks slowly. Beside her is MARK. a personable fellow at his wit’s end. Shannon is clasping and unclasping her purse with one hand. Mark kicks a crushed soda can out of the way. Shannon takes a deep breath, makes the decision to talk, except Mark isn’t watching and says-
MARK: Shannon?
SHANNON: That’s me.
MARK: Something I’ve been meaning to say for a while. I – I don’t think this is working.
He waits for a response, but gets none.
MARK: (con’t) I never know what you’re feeling. I don’t know whether I’m annoying you or whatever. AI says he can read his girlfriend’s mind, and they’ve been together as long as we have.
SHANNON: I talk to you.
MARK: Never about anything important.
SHANNON: Is this goodbye, then?
MARK: There you go again! You don’t even seem upset. Do you even have feelings?
SHANNON: Answer the question, please.
MARK: Yeah, I guess.
SHANNON: Goodbye, then.
She walks away. Mark seems about to say something else, then makes a face and throws his hands in the air.
CUT TO:
INT: SHANNON’S APARTMENT
Night. ZOEY is sitting in the easy chair, reading a romance novel. SHANNON opens the door and Zoey stands, dropping her book.
ZOEY: You’re home already?
SHANNON: Uh-huh.
ZOEY: Why?
SHANNON: Mark dumped me.
ZOEY: (horrified) That complete and utter loser! We should introduce him to a hot poker.
SHANNON: We don’t have a fireplace.
ZOEY: All right, a hot iron! Or you could kill him on the show.
SHANNON goes to the computer.
ZOEY: (con’t) I wasn’t serious. Where are you going?
SHANNON: I got over my writer’s block
CUT TO:
INT: STORE
Afternoon. ERNEST is shaking ANNA’s hand.
ERNEST: You’ II start Monday. Sound good?
ANNA: Yes, sir.
SFX: DOOR BELL as JILL enters. She and ANNA cross paths again, smiling a little. JILL’S smile is sad. She meets ERNEST at the counter as ANNA exits, off camera except for the SFX: DOOR BELL again.
ERNEST: (a little concerned. but also afraid he knows what’s coming) Jill?
JILL: (fiddling with her purse clasp) Fired. Again. I know. I was late.
ERNEST: Jill – how often is this going to happen?
JILL: I talked to him –
ERNEST: (kicking a ball of paper on the floor) You don’t even seem to think this is important! What does it take? I can’t do this anymore, Jill.
JILL: (frightened) Are you breaking up with me?
ERNEST: You do this again and again! You promise you’ll be good, then you manage to do exactly what’II drive your boss mad!
JILL: Ernie?
ERNEST: Yes. I guess I am.
JILL: How could you? No salary, and no concern from my boyfriend, no financial support at all, instead I get no boyfriend, too! You complete and utter loser! If I’d moved in with you like you wanted, I suppose you’d turn me out onto the streets!
ERNEST: Prove to me that you can put a stable living above your random whims. Above your ideas, your preferences.
JILL: (royally furious) Fine. I will prove it. But don’t expect me to take you back when you see what you’ve let go. No, sirree.
She stalks out the front door, letting it slam as the DOOR BELL goes.
CUT TO:
INT: SHANNON’S APARTMENT
Day. SHANNON stares at the computer. Stuck again. She gets up and starts to pace around the apartment. Finds a large plastic bone. Picks it up and fingers it.
CUT TO:
INT: STORE
JILL is hitting ERNEST over the head with the bone.
CUT TO:
INT: SHANNON’S APARTMENT
SHANNON moves on, finds a carpetbag.
CUT TO:
INT: STORE
ANNA and JILL smother ERNEST with it.
CUT TO:
INT: SHANNON’S APARTMENT
SHANNON discovers a pair of spiffy gloves and a plastic gun.
CUT TO:
INT: STORE
JILL, wearing the gloves, aims a real gun at an off-camera Ernest. She cocks it catlike and deadly.
CUT TO:
INT: SHANNON’S APARTMENT
SHANNON has moved into the bedroom by now. She finds a love letter signed “Mark.” She stops, reading it. ZOEY appears in the doorway. She smiles sadly. SHANNON looks up. ZOEY, stepping in, gives her a hug. SHANNON rests her head on ZOEY’S shoulder, eyes closed, but doesn’t cry.
CUT. SHANNON opens her eyes. Idea.
CUT TO:
EXT: MAIN STREET
Immediately after. JILL catches up to ANNA.
JILL: Did you get the job?
ANNA: Yes.
JILL: Good for you.
BEAT.
JILL: (con’t) What’s your name?
ANNA: Anna.
JILL: Don’t ever be late, Anna.
ANNA: For…
JILL: For my boyfr – for my ex. For any job. Don’t be late. Don’t volunteer your ideas, even when you’re right. Don’t make judgment calls. Don’t argue. Don’t date the boss’s son. And don’t be late.
ANNA: I’m sorry.
JILL: Have you ever lost everything at once?
ANNA: No.
JILL starts to walk away.
ANNA: (con’t) But I could. I’m afraid, every day.
JILL stops and turns to face ANNA, who stops.
ANNA: (con’t) If he knew…
JILL: Tell him.
ANNA: How can I?
JILL: ‘cause either you’ll grow closer because he knows the real you, or it’ll end, but at least you’ll know. The wondering and waiting – that’s what gets you.
ANNA: Easy for you to say.
JILL: Ernest, he knew who I am. And he gave up on me. Maybe your boyfriend is smarter than that.
CUT TO:
INT: SHANNON’S APARTMENT
SHANNON: (whispering) He knows who I am. And he gave up on me.
ZOEY, watching her, puts on her coat and shoes, which are still by the door. She leaves, face set.
SHANNON: Zoey?
CUT TO:
INT: JILL’S APARTMENT
Night. The apartment is brightly furnished and comfortable, with cushy chairs and the like. JILL lays on the bed, surrounded by dropped projects, a laptop, a couple of books, a cell phone. She’s on the landline.
JILL: This time, I was ten minutes late coming back from lunch. Don’t lecture me, Mom. It’s not my fault.
SFX: CELL PHONE CHIMES. JILL checks her text messages.
CLOSE UP: cell phone. Text from CAMDEN.
CAMDEN TEXT: Wash up. We’ll be there in five.
JILL: (con’t) I have to go. Unexpected company. Love you, too. Bye.
JILL speed-tidies, splashes some water on her face, and reapplies her makeup. SFX: DOORBELL. JILL opens the door. There are CAMDEN, ANNA and ROSITA. ROSITA is 6, adorable, and has Down’s syndrome.
CAMDEN: Ernie’s my man, but you’re my lady, Jillie, and I’m there for you, too. I brought the girls.
ANNA smiles shyly – she doesn’t really know why she’s here; she doesn’t even know this woman. ROSITA, however, runs up and hugs JILL, who hugs her back, smiling.
ROSITA: I brought Finding Nemo!
She displays the movie proudly. CAMDEN steps in, handing JILL a tub of ice cream and a box of chocolates. JILL smiles at him gratefully.
JILL: Camden, Rosita. (to ANNA) Erm – Rosita and I are family. Cammie’s taking the opportunity to induct you as well as comfort me.
CUT TO:
A CAFÉ.
Lunchtime. ZOEY and MARK are sitting, drinking coffee.
MARK: You here to plead Shannon’s case?
ZOEY: I’m Shannon’s best friend. It’s my duty to stand by her, so I’d stand by her even if you were justified. But I say you’re not.
MARK: I’m not justified in moving on from a relationship I can’t handle?
ZOEY: You knew Shannon. You knew she wasn’t one to show her emotions, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t have any. You must have known this was getting in the way. You must have known that within a few dates. You probably thought she’d warm up to you – am I right?
MARK: Sure. What’s wrong with that?
ZOEY: One, she did warm up to you. She loved you, even though you couldn’t tell. You broke her heart. And two, you had to have figured out sooner than this that it wasn’t going to work out. I’m not saying Shannon’s easy to live with – I’m not blind. But you should have left her before. I think you know that.
CUT TO:
INT: JILL’S APARTMENT
Same place, same people, except right through the party. It’s late. The ice cream and chocolates have been opened, and ROSITA sits on CAMDEN’S lap. There’s a bottle of wine open, too.
CAMDEN: And then, the guy says “I don’t know about any goats, but that’s my wife!”
All except ROSITA burst out laughing.
ROSITA: Tell the one about the pelican again.
ANNA: (to CAMDEN) You’re just full of animal jokes, aren’t you?
CAMDEN: Rosita thinks they don’t count, otherwise.
ROSITA: Pelican, pelican!
CAMDEN: A man goes into the doctor’s office with a pelican on his head. The doctor says, “Well, you sure need some help, don’t you?” And the pelican says, “I certainly do! Get this man out from under me!”
ROSITA giggles delightedly.
JILL: (to Anna) I think it’s supposed to have a parrot in it. Still, it’s her favorite.
ANNA: How long have you all known each other?
JILL: Rosita had just been born. So, six-odd years. She’s known me all her life. I’ll never forget, once she said to me, “All my friends think Daddy’s going to marry you. But I said no, Daddy’s adopted her.” And it’s true. He adopted me as a sister.
Everyone smiles. CAMDEN checks his watch.
CAMDEN: (to Rosita) We gotta be getting you home, missy.
They get up, stretch, stack bowls. CAMDEN opens his arms for a hug, which JILL returns.
JILL: Thank you.
CAMDEN: Nothing doing.
JILL and ANNA face each other. Tentatively, they hug.
JILL: You’ll be one of us forever now. You’ve seen too much.
ANNA: (smiles) If the parties are always this good, I could almost say I don’t care if Jimmy dumps me.
JILL: Anytime you want to talk about that.
ANNA: Another time.
CUT TO:
INT: SHANNON’S APARTMENT
SHANNON’S struggling to keep her eyes open. She walks to the bed and gets in without undressing. ZOEY comes in, looks at SHANNON sadly, and starts to get ready for bed.
CUT TO:
INTERCUT SEQUENCE between FIRST STREET and MAIN STREET. Both day.
FIRST STREET. SHANNON and MARK stand there. SHANNON’S arms are crossed.
MARK: I’m not here to ask you to take me back. I’m not here to apologize for leaving you.
MAIN STREET. ERNEST and JILL are in the same position on their street.
ERNEST: But I will apologize for the way I did it. I let it go on because I didn’t want to break your heart.
SHANNON: Six months you let it go on.
MARK: I know. That was wrong of me. I’ve known enough girls to know they think of everything. So I’m being straight with you. So you know how it was.
SHANNON: I appreciate that.
ERNEST: You are amazing. You’re passionate. You see things and you act on them.
MARK: I want to be the guy who can read you, read every flick of your eyes and see what you want, what you’re feeling. But I’m not that guy.
ERNEST: But it’s too much for me. It’s too unpredictable, too crazy.
MARK: And I need a girl who I don’t have to work every second I’m with her just to know what the appropriate response is.
ERNEST: You should be with the kind of man who’ll love that independence in you more than anything. Someone who’s perfect for you.
MARK: There’s a guy out there who can do it. A relationship waiting to happen that’s effortless. Ours couldn’t be like that.
ERNEST: I hope you’ll be happy, Jill.
MARK: I love you, Shannon. I hope you find the man who can know you and love you both.
CUT TO:
SHANNON’S APARTMENT.
SHANNON presses “send” on an email whose subject line reads “Episode One” and pushes herself away from the desk.
FADE TO CREDITS.
– Sally Little, 1st Place in Script